i spent the day: checking bf’s acc prac, folding clothes, agonizing whether or not i should apply for internships/ jobs and decided to put that on hold yet again, planning the itinerary for india, unloading and loading new film on the holga, choosing photos for sth. need to keep track of holi-days haha, they slip away too quickly.
should i travel alone? to india? and maybe other countries too depending on whether i survive. i think i need to do some soul searching. i have lost all drive for life.
very smart of my womb to menstruate after my finals. thank you. but now i m having fainting spells. need. to. check. up. soon. urgh. every month i go to hell for a few days.
i quite hate not having school. i start filling my mind with pathetic thoughts that get me nowhere but make myself feel worse. in my next life, i positively want to spend my life at the sea forever. i can’t stand land and all the things we do on it.
if our self is essentially a bunch of conscious cognitive processes that we cannot survive (in the literal sense) without, then it makes sense to delegate computational/ mechanical processes. i.e. i would essentially be wasting my time building some massive financial model soon. also i.e. if i go on forcing myself to do things i will never enjoy (aka working for other people), it’s as good...
stalker effectively chased me out of the library. even having a friend around was not enough. now i m stuck at home, distracted by among other things- caramel corn, access to freshly ground coffee beans, my window, uh my bed of course. grreat.
Cultural hegemony is the philosophic and sociological theory, by the Marxist philosopher Antonio Gramsci, that a culturally diverse society can be dominated (ruled) by one social class, by manipulating the societal culture (beliefs, explanations, perceptions, values) so that its ruling-classworldview is imposed as the societal norm, which then is perceived as a universally...
someone asked me this “so you won’t have a scar for him”. i thought for a little. when it comes down to it, i m selfish. i will prioritise myself above everything else. this incident revealed how spoilt i can be. but it also proves to me that he cares very very much. and i m thankful for that.
i m so disgusting. a take home case due tomorrow and i can’t even shake off the the internet.
hell week no. 1 overrr. it was so hot i couldn’t sleep ): but i was so efficient i immediately got down to cleaning the house (: i hope the weather will be good this weekend. i need to frolick in the sun for a bit. will also resume using my holga which i realised have been abandoned for more than a year ;0 the next 1 and a half week will be madness again.
): still suffering from low self esteem. amplified when i am in the midst of a stressful period and then i get exposed to my other inadequacies. need to stop facebook stalking girls as directed by the bro-friends.
erratic weather! caught in the rain yesterday after lunch before the bf could make his way to class. caught in the rain today after brunch at botanics. despite the impending doom i will face next week, this was a good weekend of…waking up late, failed morning run attempts, swimming, laying out in the sun, little walks at home, walks at botanics, late night studying and beer, fooood (:
only in NUS do you sacrifice friendship for grades. sigh. dilemma.
someone’s getting married ;0