damnnn craving a cig so bad right now

finally got around to watching the virgin suicides (no didn’t read the book either). kinda scary how a bit of it is reflective of my own family with parents that used to be really awkward with 3 girls all going through puberty at about the same time. 

but given that i got exported when i was 8, i m pretty sure i have an even more serious mental problem hidden somewhere. i catch glimpses of it, sometimes it becomes the hulk hahah.

gah been pretty dejected about job search really. i feel like the world will judge me for not being able to end up securing a good finance job or sth. by world i really mean people from school, relatives. but i really think people just aren’t finding me to be the right fit or sth. like they all give off the vibe that i’ll be better off somewhere else kinda thing -.-” so i stopped applying. not that i’ve been applying a lot.

my parents on the other hand are probably open to whichever way i go to make it in life i guess. i need to snap out of this and go back to my i don’t give a fuck what people think i’ll achieve things my way. i must not create an imaginary fence to place myself where everyone else is. i’ll not get anywhere.

back to routine tmr. which means back to being productive.